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Old 03-18-2004, 07:55 PM   #1
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Default Clarkson Fight

Nice one Jeremy

Clarkson and Morgan in tabloid tussle


Clarkson: 'We'll have to kiss and make up'

To all those who thought the British Press Awards - traditionally a carnival of hate - had for once passed off peacefully, read on.

After years of outright hostility and alcohol-fuelled misbehaviour, it seemed that the British Press Awards was set to settle into a fairly convivial night of mutual backslapping and bonhomie.

Until, that is, TV presenter and Sun journalist Jeremy Clarkson ambled over to the Mirror's table and approached Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan. As the two egos collided, all hell broke loose in what shall henceforth be known as the Rumble in the (tabloid) Jungle.

First off Clarkson - who had clearly had a drop or two to drink - told Morgan exactly what he thought of his burgeoning TV career. "Now that you're in my world of telly, I can tell you you're crap," he said, according to eyewitnesses.

Monkey has documented previous clashes between the two - the Top Gear presenter tipped a glass of water in Morgan's lap on the final Concorde flight in retaliation for some unwelcome photographs of him published in the Mirror.

With a crowd gathering in time-honoured playground fashion, the bell rang for round two.

There is some disagreement about what happened next. Clarkson - weighing in at what he admits are "heavyweight" proportions - claims Morgan slighted his wife in fairly base terms. The Mirror editor, meanwhile, says the two had an animated discussion about the paper's stories focusing on Clarkson's private life.

Incensed, Clarkson then attacked, swinging a right hook at Morgan. More words were exchanged before another two swift blows connected. It was more Audley Harrison than Mike Tyson, and Morgan shot back "Is that all you've got?" in a moment remiscent of Muhammad Ali in the original Rumble in the Jungle.

"He then tried to headbutt me - missing my nose by about an inch," explains Morgan. "I think it is fair to say he was a little inebriated. He did then try to apologise but sadly I wasn't massively enamoured by this gesture, given the mounting inflammation to various parts of my skull - although I've frankly taken worse batterings from my three-year-old son. I don't think it helped that Jeremy didn't win his award last night."

Clarkson, in conciliatory mood this morning, said: "He's won really. I've hurt my finger and he's fine.

"It's all true what you heard. This is just one in a long line of clashes. We'll have to kiss and make up," he added.

Clarkson, for his part, was later seen repairing to the Windows on the World bar and declaring that he "did it for all of Britain". He awoke this morning with a bruised finger and is off to Barbados on holiday tomorrow. As luck would have it, so is Morgan. Round three anyone?
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Old 03-18-2004, 08:50 PM   #2
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hahahaha sound like girls,
and ofcorse with all tabloid jurnolism it would of been taken INCREDIBLEY!!!!!
out of context, pretty funny thoe!
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Old 03-18-2004, 08:55 PM   #3
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hahah, thats hilarious...thanks for posting!
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Old 03-18-2004, 08:58 PM   #4
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the britfight video has forever burned an image of helplessness at the mere thought of a british person fighting

"n if yeh go' a seh of keys in ya hand, mike thum cownt"
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Old 03-18-2004, 09:50 PM   #5
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haha, that is funny, good ol' clarkson had a few too many it would seem.
round 3 in barbados would be hilarious!
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Old 03-18-2004, 11:11 PM   #6
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Ah...good ol' Clarkson! He rules! I can just see him trying to headbut the guy. If it was in the States, it would have ended in 1000 lawsuits.
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Old 03-18-2004, 11:46 PM   #7
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headbutting... haha! given Clarkson's height, wouldn't that look a bit.. awkward? : his head would go way over the top of anyone elses 8)
dammit, don't people take cameras to these events?
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Old 03-19-2004, 12:14 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by BADMIHAI
Ah...good ol' Clarkson! He rules! I can just see him trying to headbut the guy. If it was in the States, it would have ended in 1000 lawsuits.
It would have ended in a shooting more than likely, been all over CNN, FNC, NBC, and the other big boys, and been a big scandal, the FCC would have fined everyone, and there would be an amendment banning british people from fighting.
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Old 03-19-2004, 12:19 AM   #9
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anyone have a photo of the incident? I hope JC wins round 3 tho...
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Old 03-19-2004, 12:28 AM   #10
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there has to be video around of this, it would be priceless to see, JC getting mad and taking a swing at someone. I hope that the BBC still let him have the Top Gear show and don't suspend him or something of that magnitude.
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Old 03-19-2004, 12:41 AM   #11
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round 3 Tiff, and vicky go tag team againest Clarkson, and the Stigg.
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Old 03-19-2004, 12:44 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by blah
round 3 Tiff, and vicky go tag team againest Clarkson, and the Stigg.

The Stig would kill Tiff, Vicky, their producers, and then when he'd realise there's nobody else left but Clarkson, he'd kill him too. The scene would end with the Stig throwing a tornado kick at the camera, and the cameraman screaming..."nooooo...please...nooooo!!!"... SLASH

Don't mess with the Stig!
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Old 03-19-2004, 12:52 AM   #13
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and the final shot would be from the camera laying on the ground, Stig walking away with his back to the camera and dropping his helmet to the ground -- with an appropriate victory song 8)
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Old 03-19-2004, 01:35 AM   #14
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You guys think this is funny, but I think this article is great. I really had a good read, it flowed so well............maybe Its just to late and I need some sleep.
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Old 03-19-2004, 02:53 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by enigmatic
and the final shot would be from the camera laying on the ground, Stig walking away with his back to the camera and dropping his helmet to the ground -- with an appropriate victory song 8)
only to be run over by Tiff drifting in a M3 CSl, who then does a burnout on his face, ending the scene with the camera lens full of the Stigs blood. Yea i know gory, but i am American afterall.
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