| Jokes and Humour Got a joke, funny picture or video to share? Post it here |
11-29-2005, 04:34 PM
|
#1
|
|
Regular User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: behind your car loosening your lug nuts
Posts: 1,716
|
The Trouble With My Wife
My wife has 2 problems. One is the fact that everytime she gets drunk she gets mean. She always looks for a fight, or a way to make me feel like shit. The other problem is that every morning after she gets drunk she has an explosive watery shit. One night she pushed me too far.
She was drunk of course and feeling a little frisky, so we we messing around and I tried to put it in the butt, she got mad and started talking shit, about how I'm no good and my dick is small, and that she probably wouldn't even feel it.. so we never did have sex.
After she went to sleep I couldn't get the pain of her saying my dick was small out of my head. I wanted to embarress her as much as she embarrased me.
So I got an idea, I went to my sons room and got his bag of marbles. I then went to my secret stash and got a bottle of lube. I could just imagine her reactions when you shit marbles the next morning, so I lubed them up one at a time and slowly pushed each one in, About a hundered in all. I got so excited I jerked off then giggled my self to sleep.
The next morning I woke up so excited I couldn't stand it. I made a lot of noise getting dressed so she would wake up. She did and not 3 minutes later she said "oh my stomach. not again" and ran to the bathroom. I was in there brushing my teeth - usually she would tell me to leave but this time the urge was too intense, so she sat down and let it rip.
She dam near had a heart attack from the noise. The marbles hitting the porcelin sounded like a machine gun going off in the bathroon. She turned white as a sheet and stood up, still shitting all over the place, marbles rolling all over the floor as they bounced around. It took her a couple of minutes to put it all together. She said " What the ****"
I just laughed and laughed as she packed her shit and left.
|
|
|
|
11-29-2005, 04:40 PM
|
#2
|
|
Regular User
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Mexico
Posts: 3,544
|
WTF ???
what size were the marbles ? 
|
|
|
|
|
11-29-2005, 04:42 PM
|
#3
|
|
Regular User
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Russian living in Prague
Posts: 7,543
|
:shock: 
__________________
.................................................. .............................
"...free your mind and the body will follow..." - THE MATRIX
|
|
|
|
|
11-30-2005, 12:40 PM
|
#4
|
|
Regular User
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 49
|
|
Originally Posted by bmagni
what size were the marbles ? |
this big ?
__________________
My car: 1994 Mitsubishi 3000GT VR4 with standard removable glass top
Performance Numbers: 465awhp/482ft-lbs @ 24psi or ~550 flywheel horses.
Performance Modifications: AAM Air Intakes, AAM Fuel Rails, AEM EMS, ATR Downpipe, ATR Test Pipe, Blitz SBC-id, Blitz Power Meter, Blitz Turbo Timer, Borla Catback Exhaust, Brembo Rotors, Chrome Y-Pipe, Eibach Ground Control Coil 2.0" Drop, Fidanza Fly Wheel, Goodrich Steel Braided Brake Lines, Cusco Rear Strut Bar, Greddy boost/EGT/Fuel-Air gauges, Gutted Precats, HKS Intercoolers, HKS Intercooler Hard Pipes, HKS Hi-Flow Fuel Pump, HKS DLi Ignition, HKS Sequential BOV, Accel Wires, NGK Spark Plugs (0.033"), RPS Stage-3 Sprung 6-disks Clutch, SMC alchohol kit, T.E.C Front Strut Bar, Dynamic Racing 650R Turbochargers, 720cc injectors, Spec-800 Race Engine built by AAM with JE forged pistons/Crower forged rods.
Non-Performance Mods: 94VR4 to 98VR4 conversion, HID headlights, Konig Villains 18x9, Kumho 265X18X35, Real Leather Shift Knob Cover, Synthetic fluids. Polished by Dave Best: Manifold, HKS intercooler pipes, exhaust covers, 3000GT VR4 spark plug cover.
Powder Coated Red by Dave Best: Valve Covers
|
|
|
|
|
11-30-2005, 01:07 PM
|
#5
|
|
Regular User
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Leiria, Portugal
Posts: 1,443
|
Although it sounds fun someone "doing" marbles at the toilet.. it sounds a bit stupid from you and your wife going so low.
Weren't you suposed to respect each other???
__________________
CB
|
|
|
|
|
12-01-2005, 10:41 AM
|
#6
|
|
Regular User
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: north-south of nowhere
Posts: 6,869
|
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
12-01-2005, 11:04 AM
|
#7
|
|
Regular User
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
Posts: 3,446
|
This can't be real. Wait, I thought you were a girl?
|
|
|
|
|
12-01-2005, 11:19 AM
|
#8
|
|
Regular User
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 6,395
|
yeah I've done that before too, good fun for all involved!
__________________
|
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
Linear Mode
