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07-02-2003, 12:36 AM
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#1
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Regular User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Vancouver, Canada BC
Posts: 1,084
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Men's rules for women
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. You can handle it. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
2. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon. Let it be.
3. Crying is blackmail.
4. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
5. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
6. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
7. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
9. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
11. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
12. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
13. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
14. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
15. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what 'mauve' is.
16. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
17. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
18. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
19. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, monster trucks, boobies, Everquest, Counterstrike, or comic books .
20. You have enough clothes.
21. You have too many shoes.
22. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.
23. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but men really don't mind that. It's like camping.
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07-02-2003, 03:37 AM
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#2
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Regular User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 2,660
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Re: Men's rules for women
Originally Posted by crazidude
23. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but men really don't mind that. It's like camping.
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HAHAHAHHA fuck i love camping!!! i gotta start enforcing some of those rules. funny stuff. where do you find all this stuff?
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07-02-2003, 10:07 AM
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#3
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Regular User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Vancouver, Canada BC
Posts: 1,084
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that i am not telling you
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07-02-2003, 10:49 AM
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#4
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Regular User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Belgium
Posts: 1,027
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HAHA That is all so very true. If there are any girls in JabbasWorld they should definitely read it. In fact every girl should hang these rules on their bedroom walls, and think of 'em whenever they're about to say/do anything stupid.
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07-02-2003, 11:30 AM
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#5
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Regular User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Belgium
Posts: 1,668
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This is soooo true. The man who wrote it knows woman. But the problem is that doesn't really help, does it. I mean what can you do about this behaviour. Tell her that it annoys you, ... doesn't really help you know
The one I like best:
7. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Thx for making me laugh
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07-02-2003, 12:19 PM
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#6
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Regular User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Lugano, Switzerland
Posts: 23,178
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HAHAHAH, to funny!!!
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07-02-2003, 03:55 PM
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#7
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Regular User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Lancashire,United Kingdom
Posts: 3,846
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LMAO,how people make these things up is beyond me
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