My newest "Women" problem

[hemi_fan]

Originally Posted by possessed_beaver basicley inoring what RC45 said.. because after all it came from his mouth, and he seems to be condersending.. like he can do better, but not give out any decent advice, i have this to say about mindsets, and when u first meet a chick. there is a KEY difference between the way men and women act when they meet a "potential mate". Women usually act like this: "You're interesting to me. I'd like to get to know you better, and we can see where this goes." Men usually act like this: "I am so interested in you that I'm nervous. In fact, I'm already thinking of you as a potential girlfriend or wife... or at least a one-night stand." basicley, women are usually casual and laid-back when they're first meeting a guy... because it's not like they are aproached 1000 times! But GUYS tend to act like every girl is a POTENTIAL WIFE. and this behaviour, can make them very nervious, and say shit that you are probley going to regret! like "i like you" THE SOLUTION!! The simple solution to this is... DON'T DO IT. If you start acting all freakish and nervous when you're talking to a woman, you're probably going to screw things up before they've even had a chance to get started. Treating a woman that you've just met as if she very well could be the love of your life is something you should NEVER do. Instead, take a very different approach. tease her, be dominate, control you're feelings, act like she is you're friend act not intrested, dont act like you want to jump her bones the second she shows intrest.. (like a REAL neanderthal would do) and this will let her relax around you, and see you are different then "mr smooth" and enable you to seduce her at will.

Okay man, thats deffinitely copied and pasted of David D's newsletter!! hahahaha, Ive been reading this whole thing thinkin "damn, he sounds like he's read/listened to everything every done by DeAngelo..." I read his e-book and shit. Havent really had a chance to test it out yet, but its worth a shot with the "Cocky/Funny" approach. But that whole post sounds exactly like something of his that I read. Had to bust your balls for that.

[maalox]

Originally Posted by blinkmeat Do any of you guys just get thrown completely off your game when talking to a women, then end up saying things you regret later on b/c what you're portraying isn't your authentic self? This keeps happening to me... How can you combat this?

What do you mean by this? Do you mean that you say something dumb or awkward (happens to the best of us) and then make yourself look like a dork/idiot/loser? Or do you mean that you're playing a role--e.g. the hedonistic playboy--that creates a false impression on whoever you are speaking to?

I'm going to assume you probably mean the former (as this is the problem virtually every guy will have to deal with at some point). First of all, don't regret anything you've already said. It will just send you into a spiral of angst and worry about something she likely didn't even notice, and will hurt your confidence. (If you're really screwed, abandon ship and take it as a lesson learned--either temporarily or permanently (depending on how serious you are about the girl in question).)

The worst thing you can do in those cases is try to stammer out a retraction. This brings further attention back to the original faux-pas and only makes you look nervous. You want to appear strong and united, and so must avoid appearing sheepish or apologetic. If you must mend things immediately, do not be self-deprecating.

Now, to prevent these things from happening in the first place, you have to build up your chatting skills. Saying something dumb is either from poor social skills or, more often, from being nervous. There's not much you can do for the first one, as that's just how you grew up. Find a girl who sees things the way you do and you'll be fine. However, you can certainly deal with the latter. Some posters mentioned some dude's book--haven't read it, but they might be a start. A better idea in my opinion is to find a friend who is better with women than you are. It sounds like you're in school, so you'll likely have plenty of oppurtunities to see him operate. Watch how he interacts, and pick up some of the queues. If you don't have someone like this, then don't worry, because in the end it's all about you. Confidence is power, and you will definitely feel more in control once you develop some. Being in control will make conversation more natural and generally more charming. Building confidence is an entirely other post, but start by doing what I said above--don't sweat the little things. They've been said and there's nothing you can do about it. Now don't say them again .

(Btw, if this is totally offbase, hopefully someone gets something out of it.)