Onions & Christmas Trees
Onions & Christmas Trees
A family is sitting watching TV. The young boy asks his father, "Dad, is it ok for us guys to notice all the different kinds of boobs?"
Surprised, the father answers, "Well, sure son, we wouldn't be normal if we didn't. There are all kinds of boobs, depending on a woman's age.
In her twenties, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions, Dad?"
"Yeah, you see them and they make you cry."
Not to be outdone, his sister asks her mother, "Mom, how many kinds of willies are there?"
The mother, delighted to have equal time, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, a man's willy is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yep, all dried up, and the balls are only there for decoration."
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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
-George Carlin
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