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Jokes and Humour Got a joke, funny picture or video to share? Post it here

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Old 12-20-2003, 03:36 PM   #1
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Waterloo Engineering / Oshawa / Toronto
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Default Great/Humorous Quotes

I figure we could start a thread where people post their favorite quotes, or just quotes they like. The quotes could be auto related or just funny.
Here it goes:

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
Mario Andretti.

"Where there is no patrol car, there is no speed limit."
Peter Beckmann.

"If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing."

"Don't steal. The government hates competition."

"He was a wise man who invented beer."

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."
WC Fields.

"You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest."
Rowan Atkinson.

"I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic."
Woody Allen.

"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one."
Woody Allen.

"The trouble with children is that they're not returnable."
Quentin Crisp.
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