"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love."
"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less."
"There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid."
"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."
"It's better to be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother."
"A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'."
"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
"Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent."
"Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions."
"An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex."
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic."
"My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often."
"When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities."
"Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them."
"It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who."
"If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all."
"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one."
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
"What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home."
"Like most men, I am consumed with desire whenever a lesbian gets within twenty feet."
"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy."
"My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on."
"I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though."
"My girlfiend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'."
"I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women."
"I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own."
"It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on."
"I'm not a breast man, I'm a breast person."
"When I'm good I'm very, very good but when I'm bad I'm better."
"Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer."
Relationship Quotes
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