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02-19-2004, 04:43 PM
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#1
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Regular User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Abilene, TX USA
Posts: 798
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the best resignation letter ever
the best resignation letter ever
Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!
Dear Mr. Baker,
As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.
You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.
You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!
Wishing you a grand and glorious day,
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02-20-2004, 03:04 PM
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#2
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Regular User
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 22
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OWNED !!!!!!!
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02-20-2004, 03:35 PM
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#3
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Regular User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 1,022
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its a him
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Xbox Live Gamertag: sachmo12345
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02-20-2004, 03:50 PM
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#4
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Regular User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: South Africa
Posts: 644
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Owned/pwned
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02-20-2004, 07:46 PM
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#5
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Regular User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Houston but from Mty
Posts: 2,113
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wow, i would hate to b him! his in a lose/lose situation
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Originally Posted by TT
we have a superb community full of great friends always ready to face any kind of menace .. and win of course
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Nuff Said
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02-20-2004, 08:43 PM
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#6
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Regular User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 5,106
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i would like to read the recommendation letter!
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Guess who's Back!
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02-22-2004, 12:44 PM
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#7
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Regular User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Irvine (School), Martinez (Home) CA
Posts: 449
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wow... :shock:
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SRT-4 for sale, 17.5 obo. Not anymore. Totaled, rec'd 18.5 from ins.
tC not for sale. I loved that car.
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04-26-2004, 05:20 PM
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#8
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Regular User
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Toronto,Canada
Posts: 1,001
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o man that is a wiked letter
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04-26-2004, 06:10 PM
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#9
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Regular User
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 633
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ahahah
thats great
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04-27-2004, 09:23 PM
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#10
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Guest
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wow he got SERVED!
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04-27-2004, 11:21 PM
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#11
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Regular User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,670
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man, he got raped with that letter. There is nothing he can do to screw the employee with all that dirt... and the humiliation of that letter going public... ouch.
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04-28-2004, 03:23 PM
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#12
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Guest
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Very funny hope it was copied to all the employees in that particular office!! An as for having to explain cut and paste that convinces me that he must be a complete moron! a 5 year old can grasp something so simple!!
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04-28-2004, 03:37 PM
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#13
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Regular User
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Toronto
Posts: 4,252
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very funny, i wish she could see his face when he was done reading
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04-28-2004, 03:53 PM
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#14
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Regular User
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Sweden
Posts: 2,497
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Wonderful!
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04-28-2004, 04:55 PM
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#15
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Regular User
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Canada / Palestine
Posts: 547
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If that letter is real it technically did go public if all of us our viewing it.
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"You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it." Malcolm X
"A man may take to drinking because he feels himself to be a failure, and then fail all the more completely because he drinks." George Orwell
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