A little back story before i get going on my 10,000th post which will save alot of people a lot of time and probably 2.50/minute in tech support to South India :roll: (For those of you who are too lazy to read it all, the cliff notes are below the transcript)
I have been using McAfee's Virus Scan for about as long as i've been on JW. Usually their updates automatically DL and install. Well a couple of months ago i get a window saying there is a new update that requires manual DL and installation. Ok, fine. I go to DL it, and nothing happens. the next day i get the same window. Fuck. i try again. Nothing. So i say fuck it and decide to deal with it after i move. A few more tries and i forget about it until Friday night. I finally go sniff out tech support which baisically tells me i had a filter or something expired in AntiSpyware, so i renewed that. Still didn't work. Next was a registry patch using the CMD program in windows. No biggie. Patched the 6 or 7 entries that needed fixing, and tried again. Nada.
I ended up chatting with their free tech support person who must have had a single copy/paste troubleshooting guide to give anyone she talked to. I followed the instructions and got the tool to uninstall all my current McAfee programs with the intent of going back and re-dling them from the site once my computer rebooted. Again, i got the same fucking problem. Take two with live chat tech support. This one tells me i still have McAfee stuff installed, so i humor the monkey and re-run the tool, reboot and attempt to reinstall. Guess what. Doesn't fucking work. Now, i've told these people everything i've done already, which i may as well have been talking a brick fucking wall because they answer me as if we were playing Jeopardy, with the questions to the answers i just gave them. GAH!!!! Third time's a charm i figure. get the next monkey on chat, tell him everything i've done, everything that's been happening and guess what. All their troubleshooting steps are exhausted and the problem has to be sent to their Teir 2 techs :bad-words: Oh, but it gets better. It'll take them 48 hours to get back to me! Leaving me with absolutely no virus protection what so fucking ever. I told them that if i didn't hear back in 48 hours, i wanted a full refund for everything i've paid for. Well, Sunday night was the deadline. In fact i gave them an additional 24 hours since i didn't contact customer service until tonight. Below is how THAT went:
(last names have been removed to protect the stupid...and myself...)
Please wait while we find a customer service representative to assist you...
You have been connected to Dolly.
Dolly: Thank you for contacting McAfee customer service. How may I help you today?
Chris: I have been without any protection since friday night thanks to your tech support
Chris: they said i would get an email from the sr techs within 48 hours
Chris: i told them if i didn't get a response by then i wanted a full refund for all products i've purchased
Chris: I just checked my inbox and the only communication from your company was a damn advertisement
Chris: it has been well over 48 hours. i want my refund for virusscan and anti spyware
Dolly: Chris, I'll be happy to help you.
Dolly: One moment please, while I look up your account details. I appreciate your patience.
Dolly: Chris, I see that you have valid McAfee products registered under the e-mail address
Chris: can you please tell me what is going on with my account or give me my money back?
Chris: i dealt with this "state the obvious" with tech support 3 separate times friday night
Dolly: Please give me a moment to research your issue. Thank you for your patience.
Currently experiencing network delays, one moment please....
Network connection re-established.
Chris: i have no patience left. This is the equivilent of picking your car up from service withough locks and security systems installed
Dolly: Chris, you can either get the call or mail from our senior technician by today.
Chris: it's 9 pm here
Chris: i don't know what you mean by today but this is unacceptable
Dolly: Chris, I would request you to wait for one more day, you will be received the call or mail from our senior technician.
Chris: no. i was told 48 hours. not 48 business hours
Chris: i am not waiting 24 more hours
Chris: either have them contact me now, or refund my money
Chris: i didn't have any problems until this new update and since then my experience has been nothing but negative
Chris: since first subscribing to mcafee i have recommended them to everyone who has struggled with viruses and spyware but now, i'm telling everyone to steer clear
Chris: i didn't spend $1,000 on a new computer to get stranded by $40 service
Dolly: Chris, I do understand your concern, I really apologizes for the inconvenience caused. I would request you to wait for one more day. You will be surely receiving the call from our senior technician.
Chris: ok, how about i swing by and take the locks out of your car and tell you to wait 4 days before someone gets back to you
Chris: thats what mcafee has done and now i am beyond pissed off
Dolly: Chris, I would request you to wait for one more day. If you are not receiving any calls from McAfee technical support, Please contact us back with the case number 2118774. We will help you to escalate the chat to the next level of support. They will help you to resolve your issue.
Chris: why do you think this is acceptable?
Chris: i have paid for a service that i am unable to use and it is leaving me at risk.
Chris: i work 6am to 7pm and by the time i get back to be able to work on anything regarding this situation, i'm sure your techs will be at home
Dolly: I completely understand your frustration but we are from customer support department. I will forward your issue to the technical support, so that they will call you with in one business days, so please wait for one more day.
Chris: i am not accepting this solution. Please forward me to someone higher up. you have been no help
Dolly: I appreciate your patience, but I am unable to address this issue. May I place you on hold while I escalate your chat?
Chris: yes
Dolly has left the session.
Please wait while we find an agent from the CS-McAfee Tier2 Escalations department to assist you.
All agents are currently busy. Please stand by.
You have been connected to Nerice.
Nerice: Thank you for contacting McAfee Tier 2 Escalations Department. Please give a moment to review your session with the previous agent.
Nerice: Thank you for being online.
Chris: hopefully you can come up with a solution more acceptable than the last person
Nerice: Chris, you are not able to update your McAfee VirusScan and you have uninstalled the McAfee software as per the instructions form our technical support department and you are not be to reinstall the McAfee software, Am I correct?
Chris: 3 times they told me to do the same thing with the same results
Chris: i really don't think they reviewed anything
Nerice: I have reviewed your previous support session with our technical support and I am able to see that you chat has been escalated to the senior technician.
Chris: yes, and i was told i would hear from them withing 48 hours
Chris: had i been told 2 business days, i would not be as pissed off
Chris: but now i am being told to wait another 24 hours
Nerice: Yes Chris, you will get a call from our senior technician with 48 hours, which is 2 business days and I really apologize for the inconvenience caused due to this.
Chris: no, 48 hours is 2 DAYS
Chris: not business days
Chris: i was never told business days, i was only told 48 hours
Nerice: Since this is a technical issue and we at customer service department are not trained in technical issues.
Chris: i don't care
Chris: you represent a company that is supposed to be protecting people's computers, and identities
Chris: so does your tech support
Chris: i was told this would be addressed in 48 hours
Chris: i wasn't happy with that answer let alone being told to wait ANOTHER 24 beyond that
Chris: my response to that was that if i do not hear back in 48 hours, i wanted a refund
Chris: i was assured i would hear back, and i have not
Nerice: I am really sorry about that.
Nerice: Chris, under these circumstances I am going to generate a one-time courtesy pin to enable you to contact our technical support department through the phone option for free of cost. This PIN we are providing you with is for one-time use only and is linked to your current issue. Please use this to resolve your technical support concerns.
Chris: thank you
Nerice: You are welcome.
Nerice: Chris, please call 1-800-555-0648 to speak with an experienced technician who can walk you through the product support issues. Your Technical Support PIN number is "406666" and will be valid for 24 hours. The hours of operation are from 8 AM to 8 PM CST, Monday - Friday. For future technical support concerns, you will need to utilize our regular technical support options.
Chris: sorry, but i'm on pacific std time and i can't take my computer to work
Chris: i don't get off til 9pm central
Chris: and i work at 8am central
Nerice: Please let me know your time in PST.
Chris: 9:35pm
Nerice: Thank you.
Nerice: Chris, you will be able to contact our technical support department now using the phone number 1-800-555-0648 now.
Chris: do i still need the pin?
Nerice: Yes, please provide the pin number once you contact them using the above phone number.
So i call the number and get connected to some guy in South India (i asked where the call center was). Fortunately, it sounded like he had spent some time over here as his english was pretty good. (For the few of you who have met Sameerrao, you'll know what i mean). In 31 minutes and 43 seconds (gotta love the call timers on phones) He fixed my issue by having me DL 2 xml programs off Microsoft's website that are needed to launch the installer after the programs download. After getting those, i was able to get the new VirusScan installed.
So instead of all of you wasting your time on their tech support, here's what you go get:
msxml3.msi
Scroll until you see the file name. it's 1.9MB. Download it to your desktop, then install it. It will require rebooting.
After you reboot, go get this one
msxml.msi
This one is 5.0MB. Follow the same instructions as the first xml file.
You'll get a window that says there's stuff that needs updating, just click ignore. Reboot after this one too.
Now, go log in to the McAfee site and download the 2007 products, install them, and reboot for one last time. The problem should be fixed.
This should fix the following:
Summary: Installing or Re-installing new products fail
* Download Manager may produce error 76556.
* Download Manager may download all files and then just close without starting the Master Installer.
* When installing from CD you click on “Install � but nothing comes up the autorun EXE closes.
If you are experiencing any or all of these symptoms, this article may resolve your issue.
Affected Products:
* McAfee SecurityCenter 7.0
* McAfee VirusScan 11.0
* McAfee Personal Firewall 8.0
* McAfee SpamKiller 8.0
* McAfee Wireless Network Security 2.0
* McAfee SiteAdvisor 1.5
* McAfee Data Backup 1.0
Affected Operating Systems:
* Microsoft Windows 2000 Professional
* Microsoft Windows XP Professional
* Microsoft Windows XP Home
Description
Any of the following may cause your McAfee Consumer 2007 product to fail during install or re-install:
1. Download Manager might produce ERROR: 76556.
2. Download Manager might download all files and then close without launching the Master Installer.
3. When installing from CD you click on “Install� but nothing happens (the autorun EXE closes).
Microsoft XML parsers might not be loaded or might not be functioning correctly which may cause your McAfee Consumer 2007 product to fail during install or re-install
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Having issues with McAfee? Check here! (10,000th post!)
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