The History of Humanity and why we continue to exist
before the matrix, when human beings were all free to do whatever they liked, there was this dude named god who basically controlled the world. he was the guy to create the first people ever, but they were fucked up and they pissed him off. he was like 'get the fuck out of my house' and cast a spell on them so that whenever new humans were made, the mom's vagina looked like a baseball mitt filled with lasagne.
this was about the same time that the 'i hate my father' complex started and people became atheists and burned shit down and had anal sex just to piss the dude off and make sure that they'd never be able to go back home. if that wasn't bad enough, god also gave people the ability to be all self-aware and care about what they looked like and gave them feelings and all that thinking stuff that makes everyone miserable.
anyway, god thought he was being all clever by doing this, trying to make everyone feel bad about themselves, but he fucked up, and soon there were like six billion of these people eating deep fried chocolate-covered pork ice cream sandwiches because they were so miserable. why? nerds liked to call this 'low self-esteem'.
the first recorded instance of this phenomenon started way back when this guy named darwin came around. he totally developed this new way of thinking, and people were like 'oh my god, you are so smart!' because he was all like 'only strong people survive! only good looking people have a right to live! if you are weak, and fat, and ugly, you will die off!' which made lots of sense to everyone because they didn't really know much about anything back then.
however, he was actually just making fun of everyone, but no one got the joke -- back then everyone was ugly because no one went to the gym, or brushed their teeth, or combed their hair, and used perfume to cover up how shitty they smelled. anyway, it never occured to darwin that humans are different from animals because they think (or something like that) -- usually about stupid stuff, but nonetheless, think.
then televisions and magazines and photoshop were invented. suddenly it seemed like everyone in the world was beautiful except you, so you were all like 'i'm going to kill myself', but people soon realized that trying to kill yourself hurts a lot, and unless you're like really hardcore into the dying thing, it hardly ever worked, causing everyone to say stuff like 'hahahaha, you are such a stupid idiot, you can't even die properly!'
basically, a whole bunch of these people who should have died off didn't, and started breeding. because they totally had like the lowest self-esteem ever, they would procreate (that means 'make babies by fucking') with the lowest common denominator (which is basically everybody). they also treated their kids like complete dirtbags so that they would grow up be miserable as well (it is a very vicious cycle).
thusly, low self-esteem has actually been a necessary part in the continuation of humanity, and unless god gets really pissed off again, we're probably gonna be around forever if people don't start feeling better about themselves.
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