3 jokes

[possessed_beaver]

A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements. He tells her, "Every day when you get out of the shower, rub your nipples and say, 'Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies.'"

She did this every day faithfully, and after several months, it worked. She grew great boobies! One morning, she was running late. She was on the bus, when she realised she had forgotten her morning ritual. At this point, she loved her new boobies and didn't want to lose them, she got up right in the middle of the bus and said "Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies!"

A guy sitting nearby asked her, "Do you go to Dr. Smith, by any chance?" "Why, yes, I do! How did you know?" "Hickory dickory dock..."




Two Men are driving down the interstate when one notices a sign that says "College of Logic 5 miles." Neither one knows what it means and are both curious. The two men take the exit to the college and the driver goes in to investigate. He quickly finds a professor to explain...

The driver asks "What does 'College of Logic' mean?" Professor replies "Well, I can best answer your question by asking you a question. Do you own a Lawn mower?" Driver: "Yes, I do." Prof: "Well, then I can logically assume that you have a yard."

Driver says "Yep, I have a very big yard." Prof: "Then I can logically assume that you have a house." Driver: "I have a very big house." Prof: "Then I can logically assume that you have a family." Driver: "I have a wife and two kids."

Prof says "Then I can logically assume that you are heterosexual." Driver: "Yes Sir, straight as a board, always have been. I think I understand what this school is all about, thank you for your time."

Then the driver heads back out to the car to continue on his way. When he gets back to the car, the passenger asks about the school...

His mate questions "So, what's it all about?" The driver says "Well, I can best answer your question by asking you a question. Do you own a Lawn mower?" Passenger says "No." "Then you're a fag!"





Little Johnny runs into the bathroom just as his mother is stepping out of the shower and curiously points to her triangle of hair and asks: "Mummy what's that?" Somewhat flustered she quickly replies: "Well dear that is my sponge."

Content with her answer off he goes... Later he runs into the living room and asks "Mummy may I play with your sponge?" again his mother is flustered and quickly states "Why, no you may not, I lost it." This pacifies him for the moment and back out to play he goes.

Later Johnny races into the kitchen yelling "Mummy I found the sponge, I found the sponge." Confused the mother asks "You did and where did you find it?" Johnny proudly stated "The maids got it and she is washing Daddy's face with it."