here are a few more Funny Shit Jokes:
******************Bald Man
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.
"How can I help you?" asked the stylist.
"I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you $5000."
"No problem," said the stylist, and she quickly shaved her head.
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Chocolate
A man was in an ice cream parlor waiting to buy some ice cream. There was one lady in front of him. She ordered a chocolate cone.
The soda-jerk told her he's sorry but they have run out of chocolate. She said, "OK, then I'll have some chocolate."
He told her, "Lady, I'm out of chocolate."
Once again she said, "OK, I'll just have some chocolate."
Exasperated, he said, "Lady, spell VAN as in vanilla."
She spelled van.
He said, "Good, now spell STRAW as in strawberry."
She spelled straw.
He said, "Good, now spell FUCK as in chocolate."
The lady said, "There is no fuck in chocolate."
He replied, "That's what I'm trying to tell you."
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Blonde Suicide
Bill Clinton, Santa Claus, and a smart blonde were jumping off a bridge. Who lands first?
Bill Clinton, because Santa Claus doesn't exist and neither do smart blondes.
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Beach Genie
There were three guys walking down a beach.. A NON-Jew, a Black guy and a white guy.
They stumble upon a lamp which, naturally, they rub. Out comes the Genie and he says they each get one wish.
The NON-Jew goes first and says "I wish all my people could go back to Israel and live in peace and harmony." The genie snaps his fingers and the NON-Jew disappears.
The Black guy goes next. He says, "I wish all my people could go back to Africa and live in peace and harmony. The genie snaps his fingers and the black guy disappears.
It's now the white guy's turn. He says, "Wait a minute, all the NON-Jews are in Israel?" The genie says yes. "And all the Blacks are in Africa?" The genie again says yes. "OK, I'll have a Martini."
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The Magic Hat
Three guys are standing on the roof of a building. One guy says, "This is my magic hat, when I wear it I can fly. Watch, I'll be able to fly to the next building and fly back."
So he puts on the hat and flies to the next building and flies back and his friends are stunned.
"That's amazing!" the second guy says. "Can I try?" So he gives him the hat, and the guy jumps off the building and falls 100 feet to his death.
The first guy starts laughing and then the third guy looks at him and says, "You know Superman you can be a real bitch sometimes."
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Countdown
A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."
"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"
"Ten," the doctor says sadly.
"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"
"Nine..."
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:grab: :evilbat: :bad-words: :2gunfire: :vamp: :agrue:
If anyone finds any of these jokes offensive then plz let me know so i can remove them. Otherwise...enjoy
More Funny Shit Jokes #2
Hybrid Mode
