LOL...you didn't actually think the Onion had a real story did you? It's a farcical publication, intended solely for the enjoyment of readers, but without any real basis in fact.
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me-- "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. Sometimes I feel like the moon is made of cheese"
my Hindibonics-speaking Indian roommate--"Dawgs, do you have any idea how much bacteria that would take?"
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