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urine sample

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack said to Mike behind him,

"My elbow hurts terribly? I guess I had better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money, " Mike replied.

"There's a diagnostic computer at the corner drugstore. Just give it a

urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do

about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars.... heck of a lot

cheaper than a doctor!"

So Jack collected a urine sample in a small jar and took it to the

drugstore. When he deposited his ten dollars, the computer lit up and

asked for the urine sample. He poured the sample into a funnel and waited.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejected a printout: You have tennis elbow.

Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in

two weeks.

That evening while thinking about how amazing this new technology was, Jack

began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water,

stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter,

scraped some oil off the driveway and masturbated into the mixture for good

measure.

Jack hurried back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He

deposited ten dollars, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results.

The computer printed out the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. Your Volvo needs rings.

6. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.