Star Wars - Rebels or the Empire? Choose!
 

This is a question which all people cognisant of the intricacies of Star Wars should answer. Which side would you identify with more? I, personally, prefer the Empire. The choice is simple: either socialism or conservatism.

To be honest, I believe that Star Wars is left-wing (esp. communist) propaganda! The Empire wishes to bring order to the universe, but the lefty Rebels always try to ruin it by breaking laws, wrecking stuff and causing general mayhem. Those losers! Why can't they just obey the forces of the universe? Unbelievably, those ragtag idiots still manage to win in their ugly outfits, daggy haircuts and outdated weaponary. This is obviously an attempt to incite rebellion, in the wake of the Vietnam War. George Lucas should have been hauled before a reconvention of the House Un-American Activities Commission! Shame on him!

I propose that Star Wars be remade, with the Empire winning. It is undeniable that the Empire has more, and better weaponary and is better equipped to win. Follow the mighty Darth Vader so as to find better topical treatment for asthma, and defeat communist troublemakers!

:P

I just want to be a Jedi. That song Weird al Yankovic wrote, it's about me. Yes it's true, I pretend to be a Jedi. Muahahahah Jedi si teh pwnage!!!11

You rebel! The force is not with you!

:(

http://www.13thhourfx.com/PICS/JEDI%20II.jpg

This is my companion, I call him DareDevil.

^LOL! Ah, you rebels and your silly light sticks are no match for the stormtroopers of Darth Vader. :P In the movies, they can win, but in real life, they cannot.

^ I saw a Stormtrooper recently, it tried to fuck me :(

Really!

http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/9...trooperbc4.gif

He's putting into practice the Stormtroopers recruitment slogan: "Join, or get fucked!". :P

That Darth Vader is gay IMO, look at this:

http://img111.imageshack.us/img111/5...ndeliontm3.gif

Darth Vader is the voice of reason and order, unlike the rebel rabble. He is the way of the future.

The only way he's going is retardation. He seems to have become one of those 2nd hand stars: he's working in a call center nowadays!

http://caffeine.worldmagblog.com/caf...der-heidi1.jpg

Communist propaganda! Don't believe it!

Although Heidi Klum is looking cute in that photo.

In any case, even if Lord Vader has his flaws, why are the rebel rabble any better? Do they have any alternative for the efficient running of the universe? No! They seek the destruction of the Empire; after that, what happens? The rebel rabble with reach an existential crisis!

We seek destruction of the Empire, that's true. And we will succeed! And after we have succeeded, we will go and sleep because our Jedi powers must recharge for our wives.

Actually, we have a spy in the Stormtrooper squad, you guess which one it is:

http://www.just-whatever.com/wp-cont...trooper_01.jpg

Ofcourse, it's the hot looking one, and I don't mean the left one. 0X

It's obvious: Jedi si teh pwnage!!!!111

^She's cute, but that's beside the point.

What about the rest of the universe? What about maintaining order? The universe will crumble while you're sleeping and fucking your wives! Shame!

We have Chewbacca.

http://www.bat-girl.com/archives/chewbacca.jpg

What can Chewbacca do? He is a hairy slob with a serious speech impediment who flies spaceships. The Empire can do much better.