N.J.
04-14-2004, 04:47 AM
(from TopGear magazine)...
"Tiff is just the most brilliant driver. He's driven both Quentin and me when I didn't think we could get any more sideways and in a front-wheel drive car....
The piece I most regret was on peugeot 306. Before and during filming I just didn't like the car and said so. But driving it home and over the next few days I warmed to it more and more. So, by 8:35pm on the Thursday I remember looking out at the car in the drive, thinking how nice it was, while I could hear myself on the TV saying that it was rubbish. Of course, the piece that attracted the most reaction was my description of the newly launched Ford Probe as being able to "snap knicker elastic at 50 paces"...
(Clarkson's most famous moment on television...)
Starts with Clarkson on the mobile to TG director. "I know it's the replacement for the Cavalier but it's just a box on wheels. What? You want a six-minute road test? OK, you know best."
Turns to camera. "Ladies and gentleman, here it is, the new Vauxhall Vectra. It's been a lovely summer, though, hasn't it...(chats about the weather before being interrupted by another phone call).
"Oh, you want six minutes on the car? But it'll be the most boring bit of TV since the potter's wheel. Oh, all right then."
Listlessly describes body style, engine variants and is unable to maintain interest, so decides that a road test might be the answer. Drives around seemingly endless country lanes with only the noise of tyres on tarmac to break the silence. Appears to think of something before shaking head.
"Here's something. Accelerate and it goes faster, brake and it goes slower, turn the wheel and it goes around a corner." Struggling to find something of interest, he goes into great detail about the clock which, he tells us, gets its information from an atomic clock in Germany. But its 2 minutes slow.
More driving shots of the car. "If you want to know what this car's like - look in the dictinary under car. I'm bored, bored, bored."
Sounding increasingly desperate, he wishes for a fiat Panda or Suzuki Vitara. "I can't think of anything interesting to say," he complains.
After a range of reps give their opinion on the car he moves on to a car park where he remembers "the cunning tool which gets the dust covers off the tyre valves" and triumphantly proclaims: "If this is what you always wanted, then this is the car for you."
Searching to make up the rest of the time, he says, "Great door mirrors." Checks watch.
"Five minutes 58...59...and cut!"[/u]
"Tiff is just the most brilliant driver. He's driven both Quentin and me when I didn't think we could get any more sideways and in a front-wheel drive car....
The piece I most regret was on peugeot 306. Before and during filming I just didn't like the car and said so. But driving it home and over the next few days I warmed to it more and more. So, by 8:35pm on the Thursday I remember looking out at the car in the drive, thinking how nice it was, while I could hear myself on the TV saying that it was rubbish. Of course, the piece that attracted the most reaction was my description of the newly launched Ford Probe as being able to "snap knicker elastic at 50 paces"...
(Clarkson's most famous moment on television...)
Starts with Clarkson on the mobile to TG director. "I know it's the replacement for the Cavalier but it's just a box on wheels. What? You want a six-minute road test? OK, you know best."
Turns to camera. "Ladies and gentleman, here it is, the new Vauxhall Vectra. It's been a lovely summer, though, hasn't it...(chats about the weather before being interrupted by another phone call).
"Oh, you want six minutes on the car? But it'll be the most boring bit of TV since the potter's wheel. Oh, all right then."
Listlessly describes body style, engine variants and is unable to maintain interest, so decides that a road test might be the answer. Drives around seemingly endless country lanes with only the noise of tyres on tarmac to break the silence. Appears to think of something before shaking head.
"Here's something. Accelerate and it goes faster, brake and it goes slower, turn the wheel and it goes around a corner." Struggling to find something of interest, he goes into great detail about the clock which, he tells us, gets its information from an atomic clock in Germany. But its 2 minutes slow.
More driving shots of the car. "If you want to know what this car's like - look in the dictinary under car. I'm bored, bored, bored."
Sounding increasingly desperate, he wishes for a fiat Panda or Suzuki Vitara. "I can't think of anything interesting to say," he complains.
After a range of reps give their opinion on the car he moves on to a car park where he remembers "the cunning tool which gets the dust covers off the tyre valves" and triumphantly proclaims: "If this is what you always wanted, then this is the car for you."
Searching to make up the rest of the time, he says, "Great door mirrors." Checks watch.
"Five minutes 58...59...and cut!"[/u]