DR.GONZO
03-24-2004, 02:15 AM
Vagina vs. Beer
A beer is always wet.
A ***** needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.
The government taxes beer.
Advantage: *****.
A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A ***** tastes better served hot.
Advantage: *****.
Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold ***** makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
***** does not.
Advantage: Draw.
If you get a hair in your teeth consuming *****, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: *****
24 beers come in a box.
A ***** is a box you can come in.
Advantage: *****.
Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
Advantage: *****.
If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Advantage: Beer.
If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad.
If you come home smelling like *****, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer.
6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: *****
Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much ***** and you will get poor.
Advantage: Draw
It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a ***** in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: *****
If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells ***** on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: *****
With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.
Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.
***** can make you see God.
Beer can make you see the porcelain God.
Advantage: *****
If you think all day about the next ***** you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: *****
Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of ***** is more fun.
Advantage: *****.
If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.
If you try to snag a ***** at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Draw
If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.
If you suddenly drop a *****, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.
If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: beer.
The worst ***** you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.
Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.
Bad *****: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Draw
Good beer: Guinness, Big Daddy, Anything Kevin or Newt Makes
Good *****: Almost all but the above.
Advantage: *****.
It's a close call, but the numbers never lie.
Advantage: *****.
A beer is always wet.
A ***** needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.
The government taxes beer.
Advantage: *****.
A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A ***** tastes better served hot.
Advantage: *****.
Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold ***** makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
***** does not.
Advantage: Draw.
If you get a hair in your teeth consuming *****, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: *****
24 beers come in a box.
A ***** is a box you can come in.
Advantage: *****.
Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
Advantage: *****.
If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Advantage: Beer.
If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad.
If you come home smelling like *****, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer.
6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: *****
Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much ***** and you will get poor.
Advantage: Draw
It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a ***** in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: *****
If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells ***** on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: *****
With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.
Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.
***** can make you see God.
Beer can make you see the porcelain God.
Advantage: *****
If you think all day about the next ***** you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: *****
Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of ***** is more fun.
Advantage: *****.
If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.
If you try to snag a ***** at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Draw
If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.
If you suddenly drop a *****, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.
If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: beer.
The worst ***** you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.
Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.
Bad *****: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Draw
Good beer: Guinness, Big Daddy, Anything Kevin or Newt Makes
Good *****: Almost all but the above.
Advantage: *****.
It's a close call, but the numbers never lie.
Advantage: *****.