Im still here, I haven't left!

[TopGearNL]

Well guys, after quite an absence I am back. To be perfectly frank I never left since I was managing the Video Vault for you guys but offcourse thats only background work.

Well alot has happened these last few months and I like to share it with you guys, after all you are always there for me and we are a close community, a real JW family.

Many of you knew about the situation concerning my dad, he was very sick and since Christmas day since he collapsed he was fully paralized - neck down. He was in agony since every touch hurted him very much, like a knife sticking into him. It was really hard for me and my family to see my dad suffer so much but I can tell you that he suffers no more, June 12th my dearly beloved father aged 53 passed away..

I have mixed emotions about this since 1 part of me really misses him but the other part couldn't watch him suffer no more and is glad he has gone to a better place.. My dad couldn't eat and was fed by these hospital bags that contain everything and go straight into your stomach. He could only drink water through a straw and that was it.

That particular morning the doctor called us at home, he was very confused and talking to himself and he had a 40 degrees Celsius fever . When we got in the nursery it was clear that he was very confused and in pain. Apparently the tumor he had wasn't removed completely since that was impossible and had spread over his entire body. One of these spreads was in the brain and was pushing his brain hence was getting insane if we can call it that. But from time to time I managed to get his attention and could have a very little talk with him, but he could only say yes and ok. Knowing that this might be the last moment I called talk to him I said what I wanted to say and so did my brother and my mother. I asked him man to man if he was in pain and if he wanted to stop the pain, he said he was in very much pain and said he wanted it to be over. A week earlier my dad indicated that if this might happen he didn't want to go to hospital or be in pain anymore, if his time had come so be it. So we stopped this machine that was feeding him at 10 O clock. After this his hands turned all blue and so did his face. At half past 11 just when the nurse left the room and with us 3 round his bed he gasped for air and blew he last breath. I had to cry since I knew he was gone but also relieve because there was no pain anymore for him. For the first time in 6 months (since christmas day) I could hold his hand, this was very sad...

My father was an organ donor, they took some of these organs and we got a letter saying which people received them and how they were ''saved'' and could live happily on. My father was cremated, he didn't want to be buried and the cremation was very sad but a good farewell. The room was loaded with people, it was sold out to say it like that, 150-200 people came.

We still don't know what it was exactly what my dad had and this upsets me very much, I still hope they do find out.. I am also gutted that I missed the JW meeting but Ill be there next time!

The reason I have waited so long to post this is that Ive been living like some sort of zombie since it happened but don't worry I am fine now.

:!: I want to thank everyone on JW who have been so supportive and kind to me, I really don't know how repay you :!:

Anyway there is also some good news, I have passed for my driving license and in 2 weeks time I will be going to University. I am going to study for management in the Automotive Branch if you were wondering :wink:

Thanks again guys, your the best!

[ARMAN]

:(

dont know what to say really... one thing - we are here for you Rory.

[Svensson]

Wow man, just reading this really gave me a lump in my throat, let alone if it was my own father lying there... :(
Rory, I must say I think you're really strong the way you've dealt with it and are dealing with it right now! How hard it might be to say goodbye to your dad, I'm sure you have some great memories together that no one can ever take away from you! I'm absolutely sure he is so proud of you knowing you're going to University now and getting your driving license. Now you can really enjoy your car passion!

I don't have many words right now, but I really admire you for still supporting JW as good as you can even in this difficult time. A lot of props for that!

I wish you and your family a lot of strength and all the best for you!

Hope to see you soon on JW and of course congratulations on getting your license :good:

[Skaala]

sorry for your loss rory. feel I should write something, but that post left me completely lost for words. keep on going.

[graywolf624]

Sorry for your loss. I know its not of great comfort, but remember everything happens for a reason and ultimately those that have left go to a place without pain.

[Z3uS]

Condolences to your lost. Wish you the best!

[Erez]

I'm really sorry :(

[blinkmeat]

All the best dude!

Peace be with you

[dutchmasterflex]

good to hear from you again. it takes alot just to get yourself to write such a post.

its also good that you and your family were able to spend the last moments with your father. there really cant be anything else you can ask for in his posistion. hope your family is doing well, and congrats passing your driving test. you will soon be cruising with hot college chicks around campus.

[acmarttin]

Yo Rory! On one hand it's good to hear from you, sorry to hear all the bad news, but I'm happy to hear you are recouping at least a little bit of normalcy in your life. And - of course -

and in 2 weeks time I will be going to University. I am going to study for management in the Automotive Branch if you were wondering :wink:


...completely awesome things on the horizon. It makes me happy that another member of JW.net is on his way to working with his heart and passion in the auto industry. May you be the knife through the green party's heart!! :)

And it's good to have you back, pal.
-Adam

[pterps]

(dutchmode ON) Ik ben blij om weer even van je te horen Rory, je moet een aantal hele zware weken achter de rug hebben en ik begrijp je gemengde gevoelens! Sterkte met het verwerken van dit enorme verlies.(dutchmode OFF)

I am happy to hear you see some positiv things again. So you are finally going to Driebergen! As I told you before it´s a great place for people who wanna work in the automotive industry. I still feel that this study has been very important for me and I still benefit from it.
Are you gonna travel between Driebergen and R-dam? We should make an appointment to eat something in Driebergen (lekkere vette hap :) ) We keep in touch!

[Stoopie]

Hey Rory, lang niet gesproken, nu weet ik dus ook wat de oorzaak daarvan was.. Echt rot om te horen, maar ik ben blij voor je dat je nu je gevoelens toch enigszins een plaats kunt geven. Dat is al een hele stap voorwaarts! Gecondoleerd en sterkte met dit verlies..

Heel veel succes op je nieuwe school, ik ken daar ook enkele mensen en ik hoor er niets dan goeds over dus dat zal wel goed komen :)

[stmoritzer]

can't really wrote a decent sentence atm ...
Svensson did some good ones which could come from my heart

...Wow man, just reading this really gave me a lump in my throat, let alone if it was my own father lying there...

I'm sure you have some great memories together that no one can ever take away from you!

me too couldn't see my relatives suffer like that, but nevertheless a very tough moment to stop themachine... Good to see you back, already with positive aspects and future plans, all the best at university and I'm loking foreward to meet you during JW Run2008 latest.

Cheers
David

[cooperluke]

Condolences, and hope everything goes well with your family, you have to support each other now.

Just one thing, if he had tumour spread all over his body, how was he donour of organs?

[toprpm]

Am very sorry for your loss, But i will not call it loss. He still in your heart, day and night, he will still see you from above and wishs you all best. and i wish you and your family happy life and sick free.


Always remmber him in your life, and between your children, always remmber his sufer and start helpping other who do sufer.

To end ,
Hope you live happly for ever and your beloved family

[gis]

Im sorry to hear this news mate,as you say it was your fathers wish for the pain to stop and also for you to stop seeing him suffer.im sure your father is glad its over and can now look over you throughout the rest of your own life.

Always here for a chat mate if you need it :wink:

[MIHALS]

really sorry to read this Rory - I knew your dad is going to be fine, but now I hope this was the best way for him - stop suffering... he's resting in peace now, watching you and your family
wish you all the best, take care of your family my friend!!!

:cry:

+++ REST IN PEACE +++

[sameerrao]

RIP!

I'm really sorry but in a way I'm glad that your dad's suffering ended. It was painful for him and for your family to watch.

The road to recovery will be slow and painful. We are there for you if you need some comfort or re-assurance. Best of luck for University.

[yg60m]

All my condolence Rory :| I noticed your absence but I thought that you were in holidays. I am very sorry mate.

Rest in Peace.

Yann

[TopGearNL]

:(

dont know what to say really... one thing - we are here for you Rory.

Cheers Arman, I know that and its much appreciated!

Wow man, just reading this really gave me a lump in my throat, let alone if it was my own father lying there... :(
Rory, I must say I think you're really strong the way you've dealt with it and are dealing with it right now! How hard it might be to say goodbye to your dad, I'm sure you have some great memories together that no one can ever take away from you! I'm absolutely sure he is so proud of you knowing you're going to University now and getting your driving license. Now you can really enjoy your car passion!

I don't have many words right now, but I really admire you for still supporting JW as good as you can even in this difficult time. A lot of props for that!

I wish you and your family a lot of strength and all the best for you!

Hope to see you soon on JW and of course congratulations on getting your license :good:

Yeah it wasn't easy but we have to go on. Thanks and Im glad I can drive now too mate!

sorry for your loss rory. feel I should write something, but that post left me completely lost for words. keep on going.

No problem mate, your comment and thoughts are enough!

Sorry for your loss. I know its not of great comfort, but remember everything happens for a reason and ultimately those that have left go to a place without pain.

Yeah Im glad he's out of pain Gray like you say..

good to hear from you again. it takes alot just to get yourself to write such a post.

its also good that you and your family were able to spend the last moments with your father. there really cant be anything else you can ask for in his posistion. hope your family is doing well, and congrats passing your driving test. you will soon be cruising with hot college chicks around campus.

Thanks, but I had to post this. Yeah Im glad I was there too and I hope to pick up some nice chicks soon :wink:


...completely awesome things on the horizon. It makes me happy that another member of JW.net is on his way to working with his heart and passion in the auto industry. May you be the knife through the green party's heart!!.

I hope so too mate, and thanks!

(dutchmode ON) Ik ben blij om weer even van je te horen Rory, je moet een aantal hele zware weken achter de rug hebben en ik begrijp je gemengde gevoelens! Sterkte met het verwerken van dit enorme verlies.(dutchmode OFF)

I am happy to hear you see some positiv things again. So you are finally going to Driebergen! As I told you before it´s a great place for people who wanna work in the automotive industry. I still feel that this study has been very important for me and I still benefit from it.
Are you gonna travel between Driebergen and R-dam? We should make an appointment to eat something in Driebergen (lekkere vette hap :) ) We keep in touch!

Yeah it wasn't easy Peter as you know but we have to go on. Yeah Im going to the Iva, I started last week and I have a room in Driebergen. If you want to meet up sometime no problem! Thanks again Peter!

Hey Rory, lang niet gesproken, nu weet ik dus ook wat de oorzaak daarvan was.. Echt rot om te horen, maar ik ben blij voor je dat je nu je gevoelens toch enigszins een plaats kunt geven. Dat is al een hele stap voorwaarts! Gecondoleerd en sterkte met dit verlies..

Heel veel succes op je nieuwe school, ik ken daar ook enkele mensen en ik hoor er niets dan goeds over dus dat zal wel goed komen :)

Thanks Rutger!

Good to see you back, already with positive aspects and future plans, all the best at university and I'm loking foreward to meet you during JW Run2008 latest.

Thanks STM and same goes for me, same goes for me mate.

Condolences, and hope everything goes well with your family, you have to support each other now.

Just one thing, if he had tumour spread all over his body, how was he donour of organs?

Well his organs couldn't be used since they were infected but his eye-tissue could be used so they took that away.

Im sorry to hear this news mate,as you say it was your fathers wish for the pain to stop and also for you to stop seeing him suffer.im sure your father is glad its over and can now look over you throughout the rest of your own life.

Always here for a chat mate if you need it :wink:

Yeah you got to respect someones wishes and thanks Danny!

I'm lost for words now Rory. Really sad to hear what has happened, but I'm glad you could spend the last moments with him. You seem to be really strong by the way you've dealt with everything, and I'm sure your dad is really proud of you now that you're going to university.

Yeah Im glad I was there too Dani, well my dad wanted me to get on so thats what Im doing.

really sorry to read this Rory - I knew your dad is going to be fine, but now I hope this was the best way for him - stop suffering... he's resting in peace now, watching you and your family
wish you all the best, take care of your family my friend!!!

Yeah I was hoping it was going to end well too but it wasn't meant to be. I will look after them Mihals and thanks!

RIP!

I'm really sorry but in a way I'm glad that your dad's suffering ended. It was painful for him and for your family to watch.

The road to recovery will be slow and painful. We are there for you if you need some comfort or re-assurance. Best of luck for University.

Yeah Im glad its over, its not nice to experience. Thanks Sameer!

All my condolence Rory :| I noticed your absence but I thought that you were in holidays. I am very sorry mate.

Rest in Peace.

Yann

No problem Yann, cheers!

I thank everyone whose supported me and my family in this very difficult time, like I said im glad its over now and we can move on. I myself by going to university. It won't be easy and I will have to work hard but we are going for it.

Only drawback is that I have a room there and there is no internet unfortanely, so please forgive me if the Video Vault isn't updated every day :cry:

[sentra_dude]

R.I.P.

So sad to hear this, I think it makes us all realize how fleeting life can be, and that we must remember to enjoy the time we do get with loved ones... :| :(

I wish you the best at your new school, and congrats on the driving.

[saadie]

Im really sorry dude :cry:

RIP

[gucom]

damm i totally missed this... i wondered wether ur absence had anything to do with ur dad, so sorry to hear he's gone...

Glad to hear that you're coping though, all the best at driebergen, some family members studied there and ended up very fine indeed :)

[bmagni]

I guess theres not to say. I'm really sorry to read this and if theres anything you need don't hesitate to ask.

[novass]

I just happened upon this thread and wanted to express my condolences. Sorry to hear about your loss, but as you, and others have said, at least he isn't suffering anymore. RIP

[Zot09]

Just like Novass, I just found this thread.

I'm really sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine how much it must have hurt. At least he isn't in pain anymore, and is in a better place. I wish you, your family and friends the best.

Rest in Peace.