r2r
02-27-2007, 05:44 PM
...for a good laugh!
>How a Honda employee bakes a potato:
>Preheat new, high-quality oven to 350 F
>Insert a 1.0 lb Idaho potato
>Go do something productive for 45 minutes
>Check for doneness
>Then remove perfectly baked potato from oven and serve
>How a GM employee bakes a potato:
>Conduct market test with suppliers in Mexico, Brazil, and Turkistan to
>supply 0.75 lb potatoes
>Choose lowest cost supplier with best Wings tickets
>Change to incumbent supplier of Idaho potatoes, insist they meet Turkistan
>pricing with 3% annual price reductions
>Upgrade to 1.0 lb potato, insist supplier erred by pricing for 0.75 lbs as
>instructed when he knows Honda uses 1.0 lb potatoes
>Instruct potato supplier to preheat the oven to 350 F
>Demand that the supplier show you how he turned the dial to reach 350 F,
>and have him come up with documentation from the oven manufacturer proving
>that it was calibrated properly
>Review documentation, then have supplier check the temperature using a
>sophisticated temperature probe
>Direct supplier to insert potato and set timer for 45 minutes
>Have supplier open oven to prove potato has been installed correctly, and
>request a free study proving that 45 minutes is the ideal time to bake a
>potato of this size and variability due to orientation within the oven
>Request a Six Sigma Study showing variable cook times for various potato
>sizes and orientations
>Check potato for doneness after 10 minutes
>Check potato for doneness after 11 minutes
>Check potato for doneness after 12 minutes
>Become impatient with supplier (why is this simple potato taking so long
>to bake?).
>Demand status reports every five minutes.
>Conduct Value Engineering session and new market test
>Change to 0.9 lb potato because customers will only notice if potato
>weight is reduce to 0.85 lb
>Check potato for doneness after 15 minutes...
>After 35 minutes, conclude that potato is nearing completion.
>Pass through Gateway review reporting all Green status.
>Congratulate supplier, then update your boss on all the great work you've
>done despite having to work with an uncooperative supplier
>Remove potato from oven after 40 min. as a cost save without loss of
>function or quality vs. the original 45 minute baking time
>Serve potato
>Wonder aloud what on earth those Japanese folks are doing over there to
>make such good, low-cost baked potatoes that people seem to like better
>than GM potatoes
:lol:
>How a Honda employee bakes a potato:
>Preheat new, high-quality oven to 350 F
>Insert a 1.0 lb Idaho potato
>Go do something productive for 45 minutes
>Check for doneness
>Then remove perfectly baked potato from oven and serve
>How a GM employee bakes a potato:
>Conduct market test with suppliers in Mexico, Brazil, and Turkistan to
>supply 0.75 lb potatoes
>Choose lowest cost supplier with best Wings tickets
>Change to incumbent supplier of Idaho potatoes, insist they meet Turkistan
>pricing with 3% annual price reductions
>Upgrade to 1.0 lb potato, insist supplier erred by pricing for 0.75 lbs as
>instructed when he knows Honda uses 1.0 lb potatoes
>Instruct potato supplier to preheat the oven to 350 F
>Demand that the supplier show you how he turned the dial to reach 350 F,
>and have him come up with documentation from the oven manufacturer proving
>that it was calibrated properly
>Review documentation, then have supplier check the temperature using a
>sophisticated temperature probe
>Direct supplier to insert potato and set timer for 45 minutes
>Have supplier open oven to prove potato has been installed correctly, and
>request a free study proving that 45 minutes is the ideal time to bake a
>potato of this size and variability due to orientation within the oven
>Request a Six Sigma Study showing variable cook times for various potato
>sizes and orientations
>Check potato for doneness after 10 minutes
>Check potato for doneness after 11 minutes
>Check potato for doneness after 12 minutes
>Become impatient with supplier (why is this simple potato taking so long
>to bake?).
>Demand status reports every five minutes.
>Conduct Value Engineering session and new market test
>Change to 0.9 lb potato because customers will only notice if potato
>weight is reduce to 0.85 lb
>Check potato for doneness after 15 minutes...
>After 35 minutes, conclude that potato is nearing completion.
>Pass through Gateway review reporting all Green status.
>Congratulate supplier, then update your boss on all the great work you've
>done despite having to work with an uncooperative supplier
>Remove potato from oven after 40 min. as a cost save without loss of
>function or quality vs. the original 45 minute baking time
>Serve potato
>Wonder aloud what on earth those Japanese folks are doing over there to
>make such good, low-cost baked potatoes that people seem to like better
>than GM potatoes
:lol: