Star Wars - Rebels or the Empire? Choose!

[Mattk]

This is a question which all people cognisant of the intricacies of Star Wars should answer. Which side would you identify with more? I, personally, prefer the Empire. The choice is simple: either socialism or conservatism.

To be honest, I believe that Star Wars is left-wing (esp. communist) propaganda! The Empire wishes to bring order to the universe, but the lefty Rebels always try to ruin it by breaking laws, wrecking stuff and causing general mayhem. Those losers! Why can't they just obey the forces of the universe? Unbelievably, those ragtag idiots still manage to win in their ugly outfits, daggy haircuts and outdated weaponary. This is obviously an attempt to incite rebellion, in the wake of the Vietnam War. George Lucas should have been hauled before a reconvention of the House Un-American Activities Commission! Shame on him!

I propose that Star Wars be remade, with the Empire winning. It is undeniable that the Empire has more, and better weaponary and is better equipped to win. Follow the mighty Darth Vader so as to find better topical treatment for asthma, and defeat communist troublemakers!

:P

[Stoopie]

I just want to be a Jedi. That song Weird al Yankovic wrote, it's about me. Yes it's true, I pretend to be a Jedi. Muahahahah Jedi si teh pwnage!!!11

[Mattk]

You rebel! The force is not with you!

[Stoopie]

:(

http://www.13thhourfx.com/PICS/JEDI%20II.jpg

This is my companion, I call him DareDevil.

[Mattk]

^LOL! Ah, you rebels and your silly light sticks are no match for the stormtroopers of Darth Vader. :P In the movies, they can win, but in real life, they cannot.

[Stoopie]

^ I saw a Stormtrooper recently, it tried to fuck me :(

Really!

http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/9585/stormtrooperbc4.gif

[Mattk]

He's putting into practice the Stormtroopers recruitment slogan: "Join, or get fucked!". :P

[Stoopie]

That Darth Vader is gay IMO, look at this:

http://img111.imageshack.us/img111/5746/vaderdandeliontm3.gif

[Mattk]

Darth Vader is the voice of reason and order, unlike the rebel rabble. He is the way of the future.

[Stoopie]

The only way he's going is retardation. He seems to have become one of those 2nd hand stars: he's working in a call center nowadays!

http://caffeine.worldmagblog.com/caffeine/archives/stuimages/darth-vader-heidi1.jpg

[Mattk]

Communist propaganda! Don't believe it!

Although Heidi Klum is looking cute in that photo.

In any case, even if Lord Vader has his flaws, why are the rebel rabble any better? Do they have any alternative for the efficient running of the universe? No! They seek the destruction of the Empire; after that, what happens? The rebel rabble with reach an existential crisis!

[Stoopie]

We seek destruction of the Empire, that's true. And we will succeed! And after we have succeeded, we will go and sleep because our Jedi powers must recharge for our wives.

Actually, we have a spy in the Stormtrooper squad, you guess which one it is:

http://www.just-whatever.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/08/sexy_stormtrooper_01.jpg

Ofcourse, it's the hot looking one, and I don't mean the left one. 0X

It's obvious: Jedi si teh pwnage!!!!111

[Mattk]

^She's cute, but that's beside the point.


And after we have succeeded, we will go and sleep because our Jedi powers must recharge for our wives.

What about the rest of the universe? What about maintaining order? The universe will crumble while you're sleeping and fucking your wives! Shame!

[Stoopie]

We have Chewbacca.

http://www.bat-girl.com/archives/chewbacca.jpg

[Mattk]

What can Chewbacca do? He is a hairy slob with a serious speech impediment who flies spaceships. The Empire can do much better.

[Stoopie]

Prove it. Chewbacca can fight the Empire by himself if that's needed, and he can pitch great balls.

http://www.funnyhub.com/pictures/img/chewbacca-pitching.jpg

[Mattk]

:lol: WTF!!??!?!

Look, Chewbacca and the rebels cannot defeat many Stormtroopers, Imperial fighters etc. amassed. Maybe George Lucas makes it seem like the rebels can actually win, but the enitre Star Wars series is propaganda. It's not possible! The Imperial way is the only way to have a stable and orderly universe.

[Stoopie]

Look, this is what happened to those Stormtroopers of yours when they realized they couldn't win the almighty force of the Jedi's:

http://www.rjritchie.com/blogpix/stormtrooper.gif

Why won't you understand, Jedi's for president!

[Mattk]

Rebel propaganda! Stop spreading lies!

[Stoopie]

I'm not spreading propaganda, this picture was shot in a Milky-way Motel! Yes, we have spies everywhere. In the same way we were able to capture this motion-picture of a Stormtrooper having fun with another robot in the Blue Room of that same Motel. Seems like they have already realized they can't win the fight, so they might as well just have some robot fun.

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f293/dig1head/stormtrooper.gif

[Mattk]

Fake! How dare you insult one of the most revered institutions of the Empire! Shame! You should think more and recognise the Empire for what it stands for: order in the universe!

[Stoopie]

Indeed, one of the most revered institutions. The most revered one is ours, the Jedi Council! Muahahahahahahahaha.

[Mattk]

The Jedi Council wants to destroy the carefully cultured sense of order that the Empire has spread across the universe. They are evil communists!

[Stoopie]

Don't make me laugh! The Empire is no carefully cultured sense of order. It's a local gang that went out of control, and the gang leader likes to dress up like a robot! At least we have a misformed midget in our Council, can't remember you guys taking care of minorities!

[Stoopie]

Muahah the Jedi Council wins once again.

[Mattk]

No! The Empire is the way to go. The Imperial forces are the only group who actually care about the maintenance of stability in the universe. The rebels just want to wreck it.

[Max Power]

dang, i was hoping this was going to be a topic on a new movie...but sadly sw is over :(

[Mattk]

There should be a new movie about the Empire winning. I ought to talk to some of the amateur film-makers I know.

[Mattk]

^Wtf!?!?!? Interesting adaptation.

The Empire is the only reasonable choice. The Jedi may seem cool, prima facie, but they are just crazy.

[HeilSvenska]

Wrong, wrong, wrong. The Jedis died off before the Rebellion was formed except for Yoda and Obi Wan and Luke. There were Jedi's after the movie Star Wars...alledgedly, but they really don't count. Besides, Jedi are no match for the true POWER of the DARK SIDE!

Forget Darth Vader, it's all about the Emperor! Mwaahahhahahahahahhahahahahah!!!!!

[bmagni]

rebels !!!
The Jedi are so cool that Darth Vader had to go back to the light side ;)

[Stoopie]

Did I mention Darth Vader is now working at a callcentre? I guess I have.

Anyway, the Force is strong at our side, choose Jedi, choose victory. George Lucas is not kidding.

[Mattk]

Anyway, the Force is strong at our side, choose Jedi, choose victory.

But the rebels winning is like England winning the cricket. Impossible! But George Lucas made it happen, thus it is propaganda! Propaganda! Lefty propaganda! Bad! Evil! The Empire should win! New movie required to right the wrongs that George Lucas have wrought upon the ideals of common sense!

[TopGearNL]

Im all for the Empire :twisted:

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/799/vacationsvi4.jpg

[Stoopie]

Anyway, the Force is strong at our side, choose Jedi, choose victory.

But the rebels winning is like England winning the cricket. Impossible! But George Lucas made it happen, thus it is propaganda! Propaganda! Lefty propaganda! Bad! Evil! The Empire should win! New movie required to right the wrongs that George Lucas have wrought upon the ideals of common sense!

Nonsense. This is not propaganda, George Lucas is telling the story the way it happened. You know the Death Star was doomed from the start. We are just too clever. And you should've protected your weak points better on that fake planet.

[Mattk]

^But that wasn't the real story! Star Wars is all fake! It can't be true! All lies! In real life, the Empire would win. Only in certain movies would the rebels win.

[Stoopie]

The Empire winning from the Jedi force is like San Marino being on top of the FIFA ranking. It will never happen, nor has it ever happened. Don't be foolish, walk over to my side while you still can.

[TopGearNL]

You guys need a girlfriend :| :wink:

[Mattk]

^Hey! It's not like I haven't tried. Stoopie, on the other hand...

But don't forget, Stoopie, the Empire brings order to the universe, and the Rebels try to destroy that. Why can't they just give up and live in peace?

[Stoopie]

Because the so called 'order' of the Empire is based on dictatorship of a few robots. The Jedi Council is a carefully organized group of wise elder creatures. And they know what they do, and they know not to follow the rules of the Empire, but create their own. That's why Yoda got so old. 0X

[antonioledesma]

bunch of loooosers and geeks.... (I write this while unpacking my darth maul doble light saber force replica :D )

btw... I would be a dark sided jedi... I would almost anything I want.
no freakin laws of no loving anyone and I asume no getting laid :P

[Butch]

My choice would be smuggler or bounty hunter. Empire or Rebellion in every case there are commander.

[silentm]

gimme a lightsaber goddammit! i'm a Jedi and i wanna wear one of those cool (but actually movement hampering) gowns they wear :D

[TopGearNL]

Who are the coolest characters, think about it!

Darth Vader is very cool and what about Darth Maul :twisted:

[Stoopie]

^ They are now both dead. xD

[Stoopie]

^ Listen, you really don't want to get me started on Darth Vader. You lose longtime. 0X

[TopGearNL]

/\/\ Darth vader is the coolest character, he's the one that made Star Wars period!

[Stoopie]

Read my previous posts, that's how cool he (and the other fools from the Empire) is

[TopGearNL]

Read my previous posts, that's how cool he (and the other fools from the Empire) is

I don't care about facts or thoughts, this is just about how cool he is and he is the coolest character!

[Stoopie]

Seriously, just look at the posts. I don't think callcentre employees are cool!

[Stoopie]

http://www.thebeststuffintheworld.com/category/star-wars-character

I'm sorry guys, but it's official. :mrgreen:

[TopGearNL]

http://www.thebeststuffintheworld.com/category/star-wars-character

I'm sorry guys, but it's official. :mrgreen:

And what is this based on, I don't recall me being asked who the coolest was..?

Most of them are Jedi wannabe's anyway..

Seriously, just look at the posts. I don't think callcentre employees are cool!

Don't be so childish..

I don't bring up all the silly Yoda stuff.

[Stoopie]

^ Because that is all not true.

[TopGearNL]

/\/\ Oh and Darth Vader being a call centre employee is?

TheEmpire is much cooler, cooler weapons and cooler characters! Period. :mrgreen:

[Stoopie]

Yes that is actual footage shot by the great Documentarist: George Lucas. :mrgreen:

[TopGearNL]

Yes that is actual footage shot by the great Documentarist: George Lucas. :mrgreen:

Might be but it wasn't official in the Star Wars Series, and thats what were on about..

[Stoopie]

Yep, and that is where the Empire loses. For real.

[TopGearNL]

Yep, and that is where the Empire loses. For real.

We were talking about who is the coolest, not who won or lost..

Schumi didn't win last F1 season, but was he the coolest? Yes he was!

[Stoopie]

Yes he was, but that doesn't make Darth Vader the coolest. I admit he was cool, but Luke Skywalker has got to be the coolest! I mean, just look at him :lol:

[TopGearNL]

Yes he was, but that doesn't make Darth Vader the coolest. I admit he was cool, but Luke Skywalker has got to be the coolest! I mean, just look at him :lol:

Luke Skywalker is a sissy I mean who uses the Force before Intercourse..

And what about Darth Vader then, look at him! Everyone's afraid of him, who's afraid of young Skywalker..

[Stoopie]

Well obviously all those Stormtroopers. And most of all, the entire fleet of the Empire fears Darth Vader, now that can't be good now can it. :mrgreen:

[TopGearNL]

Well obviously all those Stormtroopers. And most of all, the entire fleet of the Empire fears Darth Vader, now that can't be good now can it. :mrgreen:

Not good but it is cool! 8)

[Stoopie]

*sigh* ;)

[TopGearNL]

Ok its been settled, Darth Vader is the coolest, period!

[Stoopie]

For you maybe, but not for me.

[Mattk]

Luke Skywalker is a sissy I mean who uses the Force before Intercourse..

Hahahaha! :lol:

You are losing Stoopie. The Enpire may have lost, but that's only because they were made to lose. They are cooler and deserved to win.

[Stoopie]

Well if they deserved to win, why didn't history let them win? Because the Force isn't strong enough over there. Muahahah!!11

[TopGearNL]

/\/\ They didn't win because it was bad for publicity, the good ones always win..

God I would like to see Superman, Rambo or Rocky get their ass kicked once :lol:

The Enpire may have lost, but that's only because they were made to lose. They are cooler and deserved to win.

I with you mate 8)

[Mattk]

They didn't win because it was bad for publicity, the good ones always win..

Yes. Exactly right. Star Wars was made in a post-Vietnam environment. Empire was bad, rebellion was good. The Rebels had to win or people would have rebelled against George Lucas.

[Stoopie]

Don't you understand that Star Wars is a true-life documentary? The Empire lost for real!

[Mattk]

^No, it wasn't real. It was just a movie. :P

[Stoopie]

Documentary I say! The graphics were too good to be unreal!

[TopGearNL]

Don't you understand that Star Wars is a true-life documentary? The Empire lost for real!

Grow up Stoopie.. :lol:

Now your just talking total BS

[Mattk]

Documentary I say! The graphics were too good to be unreal!

OK, this is getting slightly ridiculous... :lol:

[black_magician]

Don't you understand that Star Wars is a true-life documentary? The Empire lost for real!

There's no way star wars should have ended the way it did.

YouTube


see? the empire would totally win, and winning is cool.

[TopGearNL]

/\/\ We have another member on the dark side :twisted:

[Mattk]

Yeah, I love that animation. That is the real deal. 8)

[acmarttin]

Darth Vader was adorable as a child.

[TopGearNL]

/\/\ LOL!

And who banged her, ...yep Darth Vader :mrgreen:

[TopGearNL]

/\/\ LOL!

And who banged her, ...yep Darth Vader :mrgreen:

No - it was Anakin Skywalker... :wink:

Anakin Skywalker = Darth Vader :wink:

[Mattk]

Yeah, same thing. Darth Vader is a better version of Anakin Skywalker.

[TopGearNL]

/\/\ LOL!

And who banged her, ...yep Darth Vader :mrgreen:

No - it was Anakin Skywalker... :wink:

Anakin Skywalker = Darth Vader :wink:

No. Anakim was good before being tempted by the "dark side of the Force". Anakim became Darth Vader once he killed Samuel L. Jackson :wink: by that time, he wasn't with Amidala anymore.... :D

True, Ill accept the fact he wasn't himself anymore LOL :lol:

[Stoopie]

Anakim was good before being tempted by the "dark side of the Force".

Finally, someone who understands the documentary of Star Wars. :mrgreen:

[TopGearNL]

They're films not a documentary...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars

[Stoopie]

Wikipedia is wrong. George Lucas documented what happened outthere, believe it or not, it's true!

[TopGearNL]

/\/\ And I was the one being childish? :bah: :wink:

[antonioledesma]

this is the greatest lightsaber in the whole series
how come you can deny this?

besides it looks great at night :mrgreen:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/additional/large/darth_maul_chris2.jpg

[Mers]

Empire...

Lord Vader is the man

[TopGearNL]

Empire...

Lord Vader is the man

Thank you! :twisted:

antonioledesma you the man! Thats Darth Mauls his saber, the best one in all of the SW movies! :D

[Minacious]

THE BOUNTY HUNTERS!

So basically whoever is paying the best.