Jabba
10-14-2003, 09:25 AM
this is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. the
only friction in their marriage was the husband's bad habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke. the noise would wake his wife and the
smell would make her eyes water and leave her gasping for air.
every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it
was making her sick. he told her that he couldn't stop it and that it was
perfectly natural. she told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one
day he would blow his guts out.
the years went by and he continued to rip them out!
then one thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and
he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the
turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and other spare parts and a
malicious thought came to her.
she took the bowl and went upstairs to where her husband was sound asleep
and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his
shorts.
some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which
was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps
as he ran into the bathroom.
the wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing,
tears in her eyes! after years of torture she reckoned she had got him back
pretty good.
about twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained
underpants with a look of horror on his face.
she bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter? he said, "honey, you
were right. all these years you have warned me and i didn't listen to you."
"what do you mean?" asked his wife. "well, you always told me that one day
i would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
but by the grace of God, some vaseline and these two fingers, i think i got
most of them back in."
only friction in their marriage was the husband's bad habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke. the noise would wake his wife and the
smell would make her eyes water and leave her gasping for air.
every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it
was making her sick. he told her that he couldn't stop it and that it was
perfectly natural. she told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one
day he would blow his guts out.
the years went by and he continued to rip them out!
then one thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and
he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the
turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and other spare parts and a
malicious thought came to her.
she took the bowl and went upstairs to where her husband was sound asleep
and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his
shorts.
some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which
was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps
as he ran into the bathroom.
the wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing,
tears in her eyes! after years of torture she reckoned she had got him back
pretty good.
about twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained
underpants with a look of horror on his face.
she bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter? he said, "honey, you
were right. all these years you have warned me and i didn't listen to you."
"what do you mean?" asked his wife. "well, you always told me that one day
i would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
but by the grace of God, some vaseline and these two fingers, i think i got
most of them back in."