possessed_beaver
08-10-2004, 01:06 PM
Two parrots are sitting on a perch, one say's to the other "Can you smell fish?"
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Leaving the wedding reception the honeymoon couple hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills. The driver wasn't too sure how to get there and said he would ask directions when they got closer. Meanwhile, the lovers couldn't wait and got down to it on the back seat. Seeing a fork in the road the driver said, "I take the next turn, right?" "No way, get your own broad," said the groom.
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How many Rednecks does it take to eat a meal? Two. One to eat and another to watch for cars.
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A stockbroker catches his wife in bed with another man. He says to her, "What's going on?" She say's, "Believe it or not, John, I've gone public!"
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Saddam has just been given the death penalty... only trouble is David Beckham is taking it!
A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot. "What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, I'm sure you'll agree, and it's an absolute steal at only $20."
"Why is it that cheap?" the woman asks. "Well", replies the assistant, it used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch fruity." "Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot".
So saying, she buys the parrot and takes him home. Once safely in his New home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman, "Fuck me, a new brothel and a new madam" "I'm not a madam and this isn't a brothel" says the woman indignantly.
A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home. "A new brothel, a new madam, and now new prostitutes" says the parrot when he sees the daughters. "Mum, tell your parrot to shut-up, we're not prostitutes" complained the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet.
A short while later, the woman's husband comes home. Well fuck me, a new brothel, a new madam, new whores, but the same old clients. How ya doin', Dave?" :P :P :P
--
Leaving the wedding reception the honeymoon couple hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills. The driver wasn't too sure how to get there and said he would ask directions when they got closer. Meanwhile, the lovers couldn't wait and got down to it on the back seat. Seeing a fork in the road the driver said, "I take the next turn, right?" "No way, get your own broad," said the groom.
--
How many Rednecks does it take to eat a meal? Two. One to eat and another to watch for cars.
-
A stockbroker catches his wife in bed with another man. He says to her, "What's going on?" She say's, "Believe it or not, John, I've gone public!"
--
Saddam has just been given the death penalty... only trouble is David Beckham is taking it!
A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot. "What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, I'm sure you'll agree, and it's an absolute steal at only $20."
"Why is it that cheap?" the woman asks. "Well", replies the assistant, it used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch fruity." "Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot".
So saying, she buys the parrot and takes him home. Once safely in his New home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman, "Fuck me, a new brothel and a new madam" "I'm not a madam and this isn't a brothel" says the woman indignantly.
A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home. "A new brothel, a new madam, and now new prostitutes" says the parrot when he sees the daughters. "Mum, tell your parrot to shut-up, we're not prostitutes" complained the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet.
A short while later, the woman's husband comes home. Well fuck me, a new brothel, a new madam, new whores, but the same old clients. How ya doin', Dave?" :P :P :P